Teenager with a Blog. Beware.

Josiah Adam's blog has moved to a new home at the Burningbird Network Co-op. Please change your bookmark to


I blog to you tonight from a very familiar place: in the basement at my computer listening to really loud music. I realize the computer bit is kinda obvious, but the last subject is the one I'd like to touch on now. Music is an extremely important part of my life. Music is always with me; sometimes just running through my head, but preferably through speakers or headphones. It helps me relax and concentrate, and it affects my mood enormously. It's also the way I rebel most against my parents. My siblings, too, for that matter. While I enjoy performing church music and enjoy classic rock, motown, blues, and early punk, my personal genre is new alternative rock. The louder and faster the beat, the better. I've often heard the expression "drowning one's sorrows" when referring to alcohol. Well, music works like that for me, except perhaps a more accurate term would be "drowning OUT my sorrows". The harder it is to hear myself think, the easier it is for me to relax, lose myself in the music, and just exist- just me and the music, being the song, living the song- until one of my parents or my siblings starts banging on the door yelling at me to turn it down. Spoilsports.


Everyone knows it's hard to say goodbye. Whether to friends, family, treasured artifacts of a misspent youth, It's hard to detach yourself from someone or something close. I'm thinking about this now because my beloved youth group leader Chris is going on to get another Master's in New Orleans. I've been at my last two meetings, with the usual promises to keep in touch, but letters, e-mail, and IMs just don't cut it sometimes. Ever since I moved here, Chris has been a strong rock to cling to, someone I could always count on to listen and give advice, and just be there. And while I'm glad he can go ahead and fulfill his life's goals, a part of me selfishly tries to cling on to him. I'd always just kind of taken him for granted. It makes it even harder to say goodbye because there's so much more I want to tell him too, things I can't seem to put into words, about how much he's meant to me during one of the most stressful years in a kid's life. It also scares me how I unconsciously try to throw myself into the task at hand whenever I stop and miss him or anyone or anything I've left behind. Yep, it's hard to say goodbye, but life changes, and you still have a friend somewhere who'll remember you now and then, and if the memory helps them and makes them happy, then it was all worth it.


It's been one of those long weekends without much sleep and lots going on at once around you. On Friday I had the end-of-year church choir banquet, directly after which I went and slept over (or rather, stayed, seeing as we didn't sleep) at a friend's house, where i spent the night and most of Saturday. About five minutes after I got home, I remembered that the end-of-year youth group lock-in startede in an hour and a half. So I repacked my backpack, and set out again. The main event of the night was to go on a Night Walk courtesy of The Night Ministry, a group that reaches out to homeless youth in the Chicago area. We set out at dusk in groups of four or five and scouted out the near vicinity, looking for cheap food and places to sleep. After returning to the church, we did the normal youth group-ey things such as listening to loud music and staying up all night long. As you might imagine, we were not terribly perky at the church service the next morning. And something that I came to grips with today was how much a creature of habit I am. Because I didn't do much that was actively fun today, I felt really good, because the things I was doing were familiar and comfortable. That and I got a good night's sleep last night.


02/03/2002 - 02/10/2002   02/10/2002 - 02/17/2002   02/24/2002 - 03/03/2002   03/03/2002 - 03/10/2002   03/10/2002 - 03/17/2002   03/24/2002 - 03/31/2002   04/14/2002 - 04/21/2002   04/21/2002 - 04/28/2002   04/28/2002 - 05/05/2002   05/05/2002 - 05/12/2002   05/12/2002 - 05/19/2002   05/19/2002 - 05/26/2002   05/26/2002 - 06/02/2002   06/02/2002 - 06/09/2002   06/09/2002 - 06/16/2002   06/16/2002 - 06/23/2002   07/07/2002 - 07/14/2002   07/14/2002 - 07/21/2002   07/21/2002 - 07/28/2002   07/28/2002 - 08/04/2002   09/08/2002 - 09/15/2002   09/15/2002 - 09/22/2002   09/22/2002 - 09/29/2002   09/29/2002 - 10/06/2002   10/06/2002 - 10/13/2002   10/13/2002 - 10/20/2002   10/20/2002 - 10/27/2002   10/27/2002 - 11/03/2002   11/03/2002 - 11/10/2002   11/10/2002 - 11/17/2002   11/17/2002 - 11/24/2002   11/24/2002 - 12/01/2002   12/01/2002 - 12/08/2002   12/08/2002 - 12/15/2002   12/15/2002 - 12/22/2002   01/12/2003 - 01/19/2003   01/19/2003 - 01/26/2003   01/26/2003 - 02/02/2003   02/02/2003 - 02/09/2003   02/09/2003 - 02/16/2003   02/16/2003 - 02/23/2003   02/23/2003 - 03/02/2003   03/02/2003 - 03/09/2003   03/09/2003 - 03/16/2003   03/16/2003 - 03/23/2003   03/23/2003 - 03/30/2003   03/30/2003 - 04/06/2003   04/06/2003 - 04/13/2003   04/13/2003 - 04/20/2003   04/20/2003 - 04/27/2003   04/27/2003 - 05/04/2003   05/04/2003 - 05/11/2003   05/11/2003 - 05/18/2003   05/18/2003 - 05/25/2003   05/25/2003 - 06/01/2003   06/01/2003 - 06/08/2003   06/08/2003 - 06/15/2003   06/15/2003 - 06/22/2003   06/22/2003 - 06/29/2003  

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?